Dating Abuse & Dangerous Relationships
Most people tend to associate abuse within a relationship with just physical violence, but for many itís far far worse than that.
A lot of daters suffer not just violent behaviour from their partner but also have their spirit crushed with verbal threats, manipulation and control.
Most potentially dangerous partners will have a pattern of behavior that makes the abuse somewhat predictable and itís important to be aware of these patterns early so you can stop problems later down the line.
These people will be insanely jealous and possessive. They want to control every aspect of someones life from who they are with to where theyíll be. They may even control finances and only give a monthly allowance to monitor spending.
This jealousy will very often extend to friends and even family members. In their mind they believe they should be the number one priority.
A lot of abusers can actually be very loving, caring and compassionate in private, but while in the company of others, in almost a Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde type fashion, they will insult their partner, call them names and make hurtful jokes and remarks. The partner is also blamed for any failures and shortcomings.
Even their loss of temper or verbal belittling will somehow come back to being someone else's fault. Ever heard someone say - "You brought it out of him!"
Abusive men are also typically very selfish in the bedroom and will often force themselves on women sexually by guilting their girlfriend/wife into performing sexual acts that she doesnít particularly want to try.
His outbursts may involve hitting or restraint in some manner, but they almost always include verbal abuse or temper tantrums. These tantrums can involve random objects being thrown, punched, or kicked and will often involve intentionally destroying something of particular sentimental value. They will also make the occasional threat of bodily harm or Ďgoing out and finding someone else'.
Most studies indicate that after verbal or physical abuse men will have a ready made excuse for their behavior. Maybe he will repeatedly state that itís what he grew up with as a child, his father was the same to his mother, itís all he knew and you end up sympathizing for him.
Maybe he will blame drugs or alcohol for his erratic behavior. It may be his work or the fact that he didnít feel good, perhaps there was lingering stress, anxiety and depression.
They will often beg for another chance and swear no similar incident will happen again and, if given this opportunity, that is where the loop starts.
It is strongly suggested that women in this kind of a tumultuous relationship remove themselves from the picture as soon as possible, before they are physically hurt or emotionally scarred anymore.
Very few women actually take heed to these dating tips when in abusive relationships. In fact, random surveys throughout the past five years seem to indicate that many women see this type of behavior as the norm.
Even more alarmingly, one out of five teen girls aged 14-18 claim to have been hit or verbally assaulted in some manner by a boyfriend.
Worse yet, they donít talk much about it, not because they are afraid but because they donít think itís that much of a big deal.
This means that many young women donít even recognize the red flags and actually expect this behavior to the point where they view it as normal.
Another problem with many young people is the fact that they have witnessed similar behaviour in their home life, and are simply carrying on the tradition.
Counseling or group therapy may help the abuser recognize their problem and realize the negative impact it has had on their life. Chances are they have lost a previous relationship due to many of the same things you are tolerating.
If they are unwilling to get the necessary help, however, itís just as much of a slap in the face as their abuse.
If you are in this type of situation my best advice to you is to just get out right now.
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