Ask Sissy Q&A's For July 2007
Here are your questions for July 2007.
Q. What do I do if I think my boyfriend is cheating on me?
A. This is a tough call because sometimes we (as lovers) have suspicions that are not even founded. When we get something in our head we begin seeing it that way and in some cases it may not even be the case.
The reason that I am saying this is because in order to find the truth you need to be objective and not have already determined the truth before you have proof. Keep your cool, watch and listen. Look for the clues that are listed below, but be careful to not confront him to early. Make sure that you have the facts before jumping to conclusions! Let us know how it turns out.
Clue #1 Unaccounted time (late from work, early to work, paycheck is missing hours)
Clue #2 Receipts (gas, food, gifts) that you are not sure about
Clue #3 New found look (weight loss, exercising more than ever, ...)
Clue #4 Hiding cell phone or bill, getting up and leaving when he receives a phone call
Clue #5 Change in behavior, more unconcerned, lack of interest in you
Q. How do u talk to a guy?
A. Men are relatively easy to talk to. You can peak their interest with the weather, local sporting event or whether or not he is into baseball (you know the base ball team is playing Friday night). You can also strike up a conversation based on one of their buddies or co-workers. Take the situation and find something that you can start a conversation with. Then just jump off and do it!
Q. Please help me, I have been dating this guy for 2 years and always been in love with him. For the past several months I am no longer interested in him. In fact I don’t even really like him anymore? What happened?
A. I am sorry to hear that your heart is hurting. People grow and enter different stages in their lives. It may be that you have grown away from him at an emotional level. To evaluate the problem you would want to ask yourself: do we share the same goals in life, do the same things make us happy, are we compatible, is there something wrong in the relationship? Answering these questions (truthfully) will help you make a determination about your true feelings. It may be time to move on for both of you.
Q. Why are women naggy?
A. Women get naggy because they feel as if they are not listened to! Examine what you are doing when she is talking to you, is your expression one of disgust, are you flipping through the channels or dozing off to sleep? This may be a problem and she may feel like that is the only way that she gets a response from you. Try really listening to her and monitoring all your observable behaviors, see if that helps.
Q. Why do I keep attracting losers?
A. Con Artists are attracted to individuals that they feel are unconfident, weaker than themselves and in general people that they can manipulate. Think of it this way, when you are trying to get something accomplished do you look for a person that you know is strong and pig headed or someone that you can persuade to your side easily? Of course, we all look for the easy way out. To eliminate attracting con artists and losers you need to quit worrying with them and help yourself. Confidence is the key, setting boundaries and being clear about your intentions. Not always being a “yes” person will help tremendously. Examine what you are displaying to others and you may have your answers to why you are a target for these less than desirables.
Q. Will I ever find a good man?
A. They say that there is someone for everyone. Mr. Right may be right under your nose and you haven’t taken the time to even notice. Seven out of ten relationships form when people are least expecting it. Do you know why? It is because they finally take a break from a vigorous search and begin to focus on what is right there with them. Do not take the men around you for granted. Quit looking for the “perfect” man, relax, Mr. Right is literally right around the corner!
Q. I have a girlfriend, but she isn’t talking to me like normal, she is drifting away and I don’t know what to do? Help!
A. First, to answer the question, we need to establish, whether or not you have tried talking and asking her what is bothering her? If yes and she is reluctant it may be that she has already expressed her concerns to you and is tired of trying. Most women will (nag according to men) express their feelings to their man over and over and eventually get tired of hearing themselves talk. Then the man wants to know why she has pulled away, total shock. Go back over the past several months and recall anything that she expressed that you have not changed! That could definitely be the answer that you are looking for.
Q. Im having a big communication problem with a man I met online and have twice dated. I dont feel he says what he really means, or Im not reading between the lines.
Last night we discussed getting together, later tonight [he is a Dr. and on call this weekend] we did not make definite plans because I had to work, so he said he would call me at work. He called my cell and left a strange messege which went like this - I just called to say hi, its raining really hard and Im getting ready to go running. Well you take care, bye. What the hell does that mean???
A. Maybe the tone of voice could answer the question for the both of us. Did he sound irritated that you were not there with him so he was left to run in the rain, or was he trying to be funny?
You will have to make a determination as to what he meant by your past dealings with his personality. If he is a kidder and jokes he was probably joking. I do get the sense that you have other suspicions about him though. This in itself (the phone call) would make you wonder, but I am sensing that there is something else that has lead you to doubt him. Keep logs of what he tells you and his stories, you can look back to compare and see if they match up. This is the best way to determine whether or not someone is truthful with you over a period of time. If you are really wondering what he meant, then just ask him! It is almost impossible for you, me or anyone to second guess him!
Let me know how it turns out!
Q. I recently got out of a 15 year marriage and I do not know how to respond when asked out on a date, especially when it's by a total stranger. What should I do next time?
A. Re-entering the dating scene can be really tough so I can understand your position. If you are ready to date again and interested in the person asking, then tell them you would love to go out. Just make sure when you say yes, that you are going to a public place where there are others around, or go with another couple.
If you are not ready to date, then simply answer that you appreciate the offer, but you are still working on your emotions and not ready to date again quite yet.
Good luck to you!
Q. I have been off and on with this boy I knew for a while. Just last summer we had a big disagreement and ever since he has been trying to apoligize or at least talk to me but I was so hurt I just ignored him. Now I feel life is to short to be bitter and his pesistance made me realize just how much he cared about me. My question is, now that Ive decided to forgive and forget how do i get in contact? Should I get in contact with him or should I wait until he trys again?
A. By all means contact him at once, before it is too late. He obviously has very strong feelings for you! Do not wait one more minute, he could lose his nerve and assume that one last ditch effort would be wasted again, so pick up the phone!
Good luck to you!
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