July 2008

Here are your questions for July 2008.

Sarah from Virginia, United States asks

Hi again Sissy!

So i took your advice and with the helpof my friend Kim, Ryan and I broke up. We're still friends and I believe he's moved on. on June 12 James and I became a couple and I am so happy, I love this boy so much!

I was wondering about your opinion on anniversarys. One month, two months, 3. how important would you say each are up to a year. We're at one month today and i KNOW we have many more to come.

Sissy, thank you so much for all your help.

Sissy says

Hi Sarah,

I am so happy to hear. That is great news and you seem so energetic and happy - congratulations to you!!

About anniversaries, I believe that they are all important milestones to your love and dedication. Most people acknowledge the 3 month, 6 month and then year with a small gift, dinner or date. It is up to you, but I would make sure that you at least say happy Anniversary with a card, note or other special event.

I really am happy for you and please keep me updated.


Jinia from NY, United States asks

I really like my brother's best friend even though he's not that good looking, I like him because he's so funny. When the summer began we flirted a lot even though he had a girlfriend, he still flirted with me. At first I didn't care if he had a girlfriend or not because it was long distance but then I noticed that he would be flirting with me and say something really rude like "This is my Girlfriend's favorite song!"

Recently my brother made him stop flirting with me because he had a girlfriend and another girl that he talks to(he also told me that the guy had said he didn't like me at all), I hate my brother for this because he keeps saying "My little sister is too good to be someone's third!" when he's been mean to me my entire life.

It's been a couple days since then and every time this guy has come over I've given him the evil eye and he's reacted like a scared puppy. I'm just so confused and everyone thinks I'm a little nuts! Help me please!

Sissy says

Hello Jinia,

I happen to agree with your brother - you are too good for someones third girlfriend.

Do you think that you would be the only one if you two got together?

If a man is not faithful or honest (which he is neither) he is not a keeper. Move on and find someone else.

Find something else to do while he is there and just ignore him. Then give your brother a big hug for protecting and respecting you!

Good luck


Kay from North Carolina, United States asks

Dear Sissy,

I like this girl; she's 14 and i'm sixteen. We hang out a lot, we even kiss and go on dates and we've been doing this for almost 3 months. But no matter what, she keeps saying that she's not my girlfriend. I don't know why and even though she says we're not dating she still gets jealous when I talk to other girls. why?

Sissy says


It may just be a case that she has been told by her parents that she is too young to date or be a girlfriend, so she is trying to say out of trouble. This doesnt mean that she doesn't like you or won't get jealous about other girls.

You also need to be aware that she is very young and kissing or anything else may be illegal, so be very careful. I think it may be in your best interests to find someone your age.

Good luck to you


Sam from WI, United States asks

Hi Sissy,

It's kind of a long story, so let me start from the beginning. When I was 16 (now 25) my best friend, lets call him Nate, started dating this girl, Sarah. Over the course of the 5 years they were dating, she became my other best friend. She would set me up with all her single friends, we would talk all the time, the 3 of us were practically inseparable for years.

Well, after the final breakup I was forced to pick sides and had to stick by Nate. It was a bad breakup with restraining orders and court appearances and they still to this day cannot even be near each other without a fight breaking loose.

Anyway, I cut ties with Sarah and never saw her or spoke to her again, until recently. In the mean time I met a great girl and have been with her for a few years now. We live together and I love her very much. Until recently I've never doubted my thoughts about my current girlfriend.

I was out one night a few months ago and happened to run into Sarah and her friends. It was an awkward meeting in which she introduced her obviously gay friend as the love of her life because she thought I would be a jerk to her. We talked for a while and I ended up hanging out with them for the rest of the night.

Since that night we've been talking and emailing regularly. We even hang out quite often. She's really back to being my best friend and one of the few people I can talk to. We go out and get a few drinks, which usually turns into many drinks by the end of the night. We usually end up sleeping in the same bed and just talking all night which is something we used to do, so it shouldn't bother me too much.

But now that she's single I'm having a hard time keeping her in the "friend's zone". There's very obvious sexual tension between us and I know she keeps dropping hints that she wants me to make a move. At the point I realized this was happening, I stopped drinking with her. Then it started happening a little when were completely sober.

Her ex Nate, is still one of my best friends though and I haven't even been able to summon the courage to tell him I'm hanging out with Sarah. What would I tell him if Sarah and I started dating?

The worst part about it is that I like her so much that she actually has me considering making that move, breaking up with my girlfriend and losing a lot of friends in the process. Sarah is everything I could ever hope for in a woman and I never realized it until recently. Even our families are extremely compatible!

I'm so confused! What do I do!?

Sissy says

Hi Sam,

When you say mess you do mean a mess!

I think you need to take a step back from everyone and really do some soul searching. Are you lusting after her or do you really love her?

Take a couple of weeks break from her and if you still have those intense feelings then you should have the courage to tell your girlfriend (which by the way do not disprect her and sleep around, just break it off with her) and your friend.

You have some tough decisions to make and I believe that you should take a step back and really consider what you are feeling.

Let me know if I can help with anything else.

Good luck and take your time making your decisions.


Dwight from PA, United Stated asks


I have a question and it has to deal with my shyness. I recently met a girl and we started talking and we have a lot in common. We talk to each other all the time and I get a really good vibe from her, as she has said the same about me.

Here's when the problem comes in, I let my shyness and insecurities overwhelm me and I just get quiet, I mean, I'm a quiet person... that's just my nature. The thing is she is a little shy too, and then when I'm shy, she's a bit shy and we just don't talk, it doesn't get awkward (well, not on her end I guess) but I'd like to be able to talk to her openly and not feel shy or embarrassed or like I'm going to say the wrong thing and just screw everything up.

We have so much in common, it's almost as if I can't find the right words to say... and I don't want to make that something that could hinder a genuine relationship from occurring. I really need some advice...

Sissy says

Hi Dwight,

Have you tried the self help books on the site?

They have some great information, and techniques that can help you. Shyness is a tough situation because the words just do not flow freely. Basically what I tell everyone is to first, find the reason that you are shy. Are you insecure? Scared of making a mistake? or some other reason that keeps your words trapped?

Then, take action.

Repair the problem internally and then do some role playing or practicing. This can help tremendously. Check out BulletProof Self Confidence and then let me know if I can help any further.


Dude23 from Western Cape, South Africa asks

Hi Sissy

Sorry to be a bother again so soon!

I wrote last month and made a mistake in the typing. I'm actually only 16, is it still okay to be dating at that age?

Also, about confronting my parents, throughout my life I have been faced with countless trials and tribulations! As a result I can barely speak openly to my parents, never mind a girl that I adore.

Finally, HOW do I Aproach her? Do i just walk up to her and say, 'Whats Up'?

I know that I dont really have anything to offer her, at least not anything more than other boys. Please help me!

Sissy says


Dont worry about writing again - that is why I am here!

First, I am not familiar with your customs, religion or moral beliefs so it would be difficult for me to say if it was appropriate for you to be dating or not. As far as I am concerned, I think that at 16 it doesnt hurt to have a date or girlfriend.

Yes, just walk up to her and ask her how she is, what she has been up to or something like that. Imagine it like this - If you visualize her coming up to you, what would you want her to say, or do? Then go and try the same.

It's also worth remembering that all of us have our own unique qualities that attract others to us, so to say you have nothing different to offer her isn't really true.

If you are lacking a bit of self esteem make sure you check out BulletProof Self Confidence for techniques to help you confidently approach her.

Good luck and email any time,


Bill from Ohio, United States asks

I really like this girl who works at this golf course as a bar tender. I'm 24 she's 21. I'm currently in a long term relationship. She just broke up with her boyfriend in june and is now seeing somebody else.

She flirts with me every time i see her with the eye contact and all. We carry on small conversations about our personal lives. I recently asked her for her phone number and she denied me saying I had a girlfriend and she was seeing this new guy.

I really like this girl and she actually told me to break up with my girlfriend. What should I do???

Sissy says

Hello Bill,

It sounds like she is interested, but not willing to play second fiddle. You should respect her for that and respect your long term girlfriend enough to break up with her if you are no longer interested. Do some soul searching and make sure that you make the right decision before moving ahead.

Good luck


Anonymous asks

Dear Sissy

I am writing to you because I need advice about something. There was a guy that I used to like in the eighth grade. I think he liked me too, because eventhough we never talked, he always stared at me.

Two and a half years have passed and I haven't seen him but I've got my crush back and I'm thinking he might still like me.

What do you think?

Sissy says


Over two years can mean a lifetime in a relationship. You did not say whether you have contact with him or not.

If not look him up and see where he is in his life. Does he have a girlfriend, wife or kids? If not talk with him and see where it takes you.

good luck


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