November 2007

Here are your questions for November 2007.

Karen from TX, United States asks

I'm 32 and haven't dated in 9 years (been in 2 relationships).

After realizing that I got out of a relationship, a co-worker asked me out and within the past 2 weeks, we've seen each other 6 times. He's even introduced me to friends, etc.

I am a VERY forward person and have always initiated relationships and ended relationships. He seems to be quite shy and shares little emotion or information.

I really like this guy & don't want to mess it up by being too forward. What is appropriate behavior from a "forward" woman? Should I call, ask him out, etc.? He said it's a two way street, so if I want to do something, ask and if he wants to do something he will ask. I just don't want to "kill" the chase.

Also, we've had sex everytime we've seen each other, but only because I've initiated it. I've had to nudge him a little to "get it". Is this ok?

Sissy says

Hi Karen

Things have changed from years past. Today it is not uncommon to have a woman that is the initiator in a relationship. If you are comfortable in that role then that is fine, if not that is where the change needs to come in.

If you are insecure or feeling uncomfortable you may want to back off a bit and see where that takes you.

Let us know and good luck to you!


Mandy from Delaware, United States asks

I'm currently seeing a man who is 10 years older than me. I'm 26 and he's 36. It really has made no difference in anything. We have similar interests, are physically attracted to one another, etc. He does have two children. I am completely ok with this. I have been seeing him for 3 months. He claims that we are more than friends, but prefers no title. He said he wants it "to work out naturally."

My question is . . .

what does it mean when a man doesn't want a title? Do you think he doesn't want to commit or does he just want to take it slow?

Either way I'm satisfied. Just to spend time together is great.

Thanks for your help!

Sissy says

Hi Mandy,

It may be that he is not yet ready for a title, otherwise known as a commitment.

Many men are reluctant and if you are ok with this then enjoy the time together. One thing that you might keep in mind is the fact that this gentleman may have a history of "no titles" and that may be a factor later on if you get really serious.

At some point you may need to deal with this but for now, my advice is to enjoy the time that you have together, get to know one another and see where it takes you.

Cross other bridges as and when necessary!

Keep us posted and good luck!


Willow from MA, United States asks

Sissy I am one of the last virgins at school and I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. we have been dating since 5th grade and i'm now in the 11th.

Sometimes at the movies he will touch my breasts and it feels really nice what should i do.

Also, could I get pregnant having anal sex?

Sissy says


There is nothing wrong with being a virgin in fact there are many people that are saving themselves for marriage. Take it slow and if you do decide to have sex with your boyfriend make sure that it is protected. If there is a parent, older friend or counselor that you can talk to it would be great.

As for your other question. Anal sex does not normally result in pregnancy, however there is a possibility that sperm can reach the vagina so for more than one reason it is important that your boyfriend wear protection.

Take your time!


Ryann from Nevada, United States asks

I have a guy friend who I like (Hes my neighbor too). My problem though is that he is engaged.Him and his fiance do not live together and they have no date set for their wedding. She also still has 4 years of school in a different city, and he is not going with her.

Just recently I was house sitting and he called me every single night and we would talk for hours. I would ask him why he would call me and he said that he didnt want me to be lonely.

He flirts with me and I flirt back. When ever he is at my house he will sit right next to me and our legs will be touching, and he doesnt move his away. He is always teasing me and playfully hitting me. He also does this thing where I will hand him something and there is plenty of room for him to grab it without our hands touching but he touches my hand anyways.

We ocassionaly go places together(without his fiance). People who meet him for the first time think he likes me because they say he just gives off the vibe that he does. They say they see the way he looks at me and it says it all.

So my questions are these

1) Does he like me?

2) Should I tell him I like him?

3) How do I go about doing that with out ruining our friendship?

4) Am I horrible for liking a man whos taken and who I believe likes me back?

Thank You so much for your answer, I really appreciate it.

Sissy says

Hello Ryann

From your comments I do believe that your neighbor is more interested in you than just not wanting you to be alone. He is definitely trying to determine whether his feelings are mutual. He has every classic sign of a man interested in a woman.

To answer your question as to whether or not that you are horrible, I do not believe so. If he were married it would be different, we simply can not control who we fall for.

Now with that being said, after you express your feelings to him I also believe that you should tell him that you will not carry on a relationship with him at all until the other woman is out of the picture.

Do not settle for second best! Good luck and let us know how it turns out!


Sabir from West Bengal, India asks

I am new to dating and would like to know this one girl better. She is a tele caller and we now send text messages via our mobiles. I'd like to know how to have a proper date with her.

Sissy says

Hello Sabir,

Thanks for writing.

I believe the best way to score a date with this lady is to ASK! In one of your text messages simply say "would you like to catch a movie or dinner with me sometimes soon". If she is interested she will answer and if not it may be time to close out the messages!

Good luck!


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