Self Talk - The Enemy To One And All
Have you ever considered that your self talk might be badly affecting your confidence?
How long do you think that your spouse or significant other would stick around if you badgered them all the time, constantly called them names and spoke negatively about everything they thought or did? If they have any sense, probably not long! So why is it that we stay inside a body where our words and actions are very harsh against ourselves? If we spoke to anyone else in that manner we would most likely have a bloody nose, yet we speak to ourselves that way with absolutely no regard at all. It’s no different when you call yourself a stupid idiot or tell yourself that you are no good, from calling someone else the same. It does the same damage and in fact maybe more damage, because we can discredit someone else that may be calling us ugly names. It is very hard to discredit ourselves when we constantly reiterate how terrible we are. Eventually we begin to believe our own self talk and it causes us to fall further into a self conscious state. This causes feelings of unworthiness, low self esteem and negativity. It is very difficult to succeed in life or have any confidence when you are constantly badgering yourself and name calling every day. In the counseling world this is called a ‘locus of control’ and, though it sounds like a fancy phrase, the concept is very easy to understand. Basically, it is the way that we look at our actions and actions of others around us. Take this example: when you trip while walking on the side walk you call yourself a klutz and you can’t believe that you were stupid enough to trip and embarrass yourself. Yet, when you see someone else trip at the exact same location you sympathize with them and believe that there may be a defect in the sidewalk that caused them to trip! See how it works? When you do it you label yourself as a klutz and stupid, yet when someone else does the same they must have been caused to trip! Crazy, huh! You must change this locus of control to assume that because you make a mistake you are not unworthy. The next time something happens make a conscious effort to stop yourself before you say something negative. Speak kindly and give yourself a chance, it will work! You will build self confidence and feel better about yourself in no time at all!
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