Ten Common Mistakes Men Make on the First Few Dates

Serious Talks

Some topics should be viewed as off limits for the first several dates. Pretty much any "big future talks" should be avoided until after at least three months of dating or ten dates, whichever is longer. The focus for the first several dates should be whether or not you even like the other person. Rushing into conversations about marriage, kids, the future will only cloud your judgement of the other person.

Arrogance

Men who brag excessively or act arrogant actually accomplish the opposite of what they intend. Women usually find arrogant men to be compensating for something. In other words, if you spend the whole date bragging about yourself it's going to come across as very insecure.

Big Fancy Dinners

The big fancy dinner date should be avoided the first few times out. They're stuffy and uncomfortable. Dating is already stuffy enough, there's no reason to compound this anxiety by sitting down for a five course meal with someone you barely know.

Pressure for Sex

There are a few reasons why pressuring to have sex on the first date is a bad idea. Most importantly, it's a turn-off. No matter how much a woman might be interested in you, if you pressure her for sex before she is ready, you're going to lose major points with her. Another reason you should wait a few dates before having sex is to get to know the person. Believe me, you don't want to find yourself in the nightmare scenario of sleeping with someone you barely know only to later find out they've got tons of psychological problems.

Talking About Money

A relationship based on money and materialism is doomed to fail. All talks about money, income and possessions should be saved for until you are trusting, committed couple. Build a relationship on the foundation of money and I guarantee you it will one day crumble.

Sharing Strong Opinions

First dates are not the time to get on a soapbox and share your strong opinions on politics, religion, or any other controversial subjects. In fact, if you have incredibly strong opinions on such topics, you should consider lightening up from a general standpoint, not just on first dates. People do not find incredibly strong opinions to be particularly attractive, even if they agree with your opinion. It's okay to have firm beliefs, but don't become unendingly serious and relentless with them.

Trash Talking an Ex

Bad mouthing an ex girlfriend or wife is a big turnoff. No one wants to hear your blame games or pity party about how your previous relationship didn't work out. If you're still displaying sour grapes over a past relationship it shows that you didn't have control over that relationship. That is a major turn off to women. Remember, women are attracted to men who are in control.

Being Overly Understanding

If a woman shares her problems with you on the first few dates, don't fall into the trap of being overly sensitive and understanding. If anything, look to steer the conversation away from her problems. First dates are not a time to become a girl's therapist. They're for having fun and taking your minds off of day to day troubles. You can even be direct and ask, "are you telling me this because you want help with a solution or because you just want to vent?" If they're just venting, tell them that perhaps it's best if they share this problem with a girlfriend. Stay uninvolved.

Trying New Places

Save the big gamble on a new restaurant/bar/park until after the two of you have established a bond. The first few dates should take place at a trusty, reliable venue so you don't need to be bothered with outside distractions.

Spending Too Much

Whatever you do on the first handful of dates with a girl will set a precedent for the remainder of the relationship. If you're a lavish spender on the first few dates, guess how you'll be expected to spend going forward? People are creatures of habit. Don't condition the women you date into expecting a big lavish outting every night. It will spoil them and bankrupt you.

If you are looking for ice breakers or conversation topics the head over to the Dating Tips section and check out some of the articles there.

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